Bad Sun Rising

           There was something wrong with the light, beyond Delaney’s inability to open her eyes for more than a second or two. It was blurry, white, and cold, so unlike the warm glow of the campfire or the sun.  Once her eyes opened and the blurriness slowly focused, Delaney saw the white fluorescent light, the white walls, the chrome colored railings and the metal knobs. A cold chill ran throughout her body, stilling her with fear. Wildly, her heartbeat, recognizing where she was. In the time before,  this was where people went to die.

           Her hands scrambled to undo all the tubes surrounding her, and the needles pinching into her skin. Bare feet slid onto the cold tile, and unsteadily bore Delaney’s weight. Cautiously, she peered down the hallway, and then slipped out the door. Choosing a direction, she kept her head down and hoped no one would say anything. How many times had Roger told her that if you look like you know what you are doing, people will follow. Despite the limp in her left leg, and the ache throughout her body, Delaney moved swiftly and hoped she reached an exit or stairs, before she was questioned. 

           “Oh, no, honey! Not again!” A voice called after her, causing Delaney to run the best she could, adrenaline hushing the pain shooting through her left leg.

           As if drawn by a magical force, orderlies and nurses filtered the hallways, filling the doorways and closing around her. A security guard spoke into his collar bone as he advanced down the hallway. Spinning around, she saw the woman in dark pink scrubs who called after her. Again? Her heartbeat quickened as she spun around, no doubt her eyes bulging like the rabbits they caught in their traps.

           Is it a black bear, or a grizzly bear? Roger’s voice floated back to her. You have to know what you are dealing with to know how to respond. For one, you play dead, and for the other, you look big and scary.

           What if it is wolves? Delaney had asked. It didn’t occur to her to ask about people. She never thought that she would see people that existed outside of her paradise. And yet, here she was. Delaney could not run, and she could not make them all believe that she was bigger and scarier. Although she knew this place, knew it was where people went to die, Delaney's body froze, screaming for her mind to catch up  

           Advancing slowly, the woman in pink scrubs spoke carefully. “My name is Etna James, and I am a nurse." The way Etna spoke made  Delaney think she was a wild animal they were trying to cage. “You can call me Etna. You are in a safe place, but I need you to let us help you.”

           Help you? They stole you. Silently, Delaney watched the nurse advance while the thought echoed in her mind. They should have left her to the ocean, as it always took care of her before. These were not the people that she needed. “Please, sweetheart, come with me.”

          Delaney looked at the nurse who was staring back with sympathetic eyes, and then at the security guard who frowned at her, his hands on his belt. She didn’t know what all the things were that hung from his belt, but Delaney figured she didn’t want to find out by being on the receiving end of it. Know what you’re facing before you act. Roger had tried to prepare her and all the children for every scenario, if the explorers and adventure seekers such as Logan, Marty and himself died, or were separated from the group. This was not one of the situations that he covered before he took a canoe past the reef and was not seen from again. 

            So Delaney tried to picture what everyone else would do. Huey might embrace these people, because he was too young to remember the time before. Sakorou would have would have fought until he was free, no matter how long the fight took. Once Sakurou wrestled a shark as long as he was tall. It attacked them while they were fishing, taking a canoe past a sandbar, despite the warnings from Logan and Marty not to do so. Everyone on the shore, along with Delaney who made it over the sandbar, watched in horror while the shark struggled in the water. Sakurou would disappear beneath the surface and reappear again, his arms wrapped tightly around the sandpaper like skin. Eventually, he was thrown onto the sandbar, scrambling where the water barely covered the top. As the shark lunged after him, Sakurou kicked it in its nose, and it retreated into the murky depths, deciding that the meal was too much trouble. Those were some of the longest moments of Delaney’s life. Although Sakurou talked about wanting to see people from the time before, Delaney was certain of two things. Sterile places like this were not friendly, amiable refuges and Sakurou would have fought to escape, or die trying.  

           Gemma would be so overwhelmed, that she would freeze like prey. Everyone else, Blanche, Lea, Marty, and Logan would have been so relieved to be back in the place of the time before, but Delaney was trying to remember what Roger would have done, before he disappeared. What he would say was for Delaney to choose the smart tactic, not the strong one, so she followed Etna down the hall back to her bed. Obediently, she climbed onto the bed when told, and she gritted her teeth as the tubes and the needles prodded her and surrounded her once more.

“I know it’s scary, but it’s helping you to get better,” Etna promised, smiling at the girl.

Delaney offered no verbal response. Instead, she stared at the end of the bed, her tangled hair falling over her shoulders. Softly, the nurse asked, “Can you tell me your name?”

When Delaney did not respond, the nurse tried another tactic to get her to speak. “You were pretty beaten up by a storm. You were out so far to be alone. Are their others?”

And there it was. Already, they wanted to take everyone else from her, but Delaney was not going to fall for this trick. Showing no comprehension of what Etna was saying, Delaney kept staring at the same spot on the white hospital sheet covering her.

“Is there anyone we can call to take care of you?” Etna tried for a third time.

Delaney barely heard her question, so intently focused on pretending that she existed outside of the physical space she was trapped in, that she wasn’t present for these moments.

“Okay, honey, it’s okay,” Etna ran her hand down Delaney’s arm soothingly. It was so much like something Lea would have done, that Delaney looked sharply at Etna. The older woman smiled sadly at her, and Delaney hated the pity and compassion she saw in those eyes. “The doctor is going to want to talk to you, and tell you what is going on. Can you tell me, at least, if you understand what I am saying?” When Delaney only stared back, Etna asked, “Are you hungry, at least?”

After a long moment, Delaney’s eyes dropped, and she nodded.

Good, Etna thought. At least she understands.

 

A tall woman with curly blonde hair came in to introduce herself as Dr. Fay. She asked for Delaney’s name, and when she was presented with a blank stare for an answer, she launched into an explanation about what was wrong with Delaney’s insides as she was jostled from the storm, tossed around the ocean, and spit back out on the beach. She tried to ask Delaney the same questions as Etna, except she didn’t ask if Delaney was hungry. The answer would have been yes, but meals came at prescribed times from a man in dark purple scrubs. The doctor did not ask, however, and Delaney did not provide answers to any of her questions. Finally, Dr. Fay requested a counselor, and a day later, he called in a colleague. Dr. Landon Carter was one of the people Delaney liked the least, not just in this new world, but in her entire life. He sat next to her bedside, a clipboard in hand. His pen moved while he talked, and Delaney stared in the face of his questions.

“Never trust a quack,” Roger had told her.

“What’s a quack?” Delaney asked, all but ten years old.

            “A psychologist. Someone who tries to tell you what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling through the variable patterns of human behavior. It’s a soft science,” Roger scoffed.

            “I sense some distrust. Would you like to talk about that?” Dr. Carter inquired, his pen stilling for a moment.

            Delaney scoffed. The pen moved again.

           

            Huey stared at a charcoal face on the cave wall. Some of those portraits on other walls, in other caves, and in this one, were of people who were no longer here, and now his sister was one of them. She had disappeared for a couple days before, to everyone’s chagrin, but never for this long. The portrait was old, and it was drawn by Gemma when she and Delaney were twelve. That was eight years ago, he was told. The portrait immortalized her carefree smile, the one that assured her fellow castaways that she could take on anything. While Logan muttered about that smile giving him an ulcer one day, normally, it calmed Huey down, because he believed in it. During his life of eighteen years, or so he was told, Huey saw Delaney do fantastical things.

            But in this picture, she was just a teenage girl, still growing in into her holey socks. He imagined her toes wiggling into the sand they adored so much. He grabbed his shoe, and threw it at the sketch. Clenching his fists, he declared, “We have to find her.”

            “We will,” Marty said.

            “You smudged it,” Gemma said, coming up and rubbing part of the picture.

 

            “You stare at the window a lot,” Dr. Carter replied. “I imagine you want to go outside. The nurses said you tried to run for it. To me, it sounds like you just wanted to see the water. Do you want to go to the water?”

            Sharply, Delaney spun on her heel, and Dr. Carter kept his smile to himself. Such long stretches went in between these moments, that he started to question whether or not she could understand him. When he asked if she had family, he was met with the usual silence. He started listing family members and she fidgeted when he asked about a brother. While Delaney stared at him from the window, Dr. Carter continued, “The nurses were upset that you’re not ready for activity as vigorous as running, but I convinced them to let us finish our session near the water. The first condition is that there’s no running, and you come back when nurse Etna says you have to.”

            Delaney’s eyes light up in a way Dr. Carter had yet to see. He finished, “But this deal is contingent on one other thing. You have to tell us what your name is.” Pensively, he watched her, hoping she would talk, but not expecting her too. Already, he considered today’s session a step in the right direction.

            An audible exhale escaped her, and Delaney turned back to the window. Grey water heading towards the ocean beckoned and mocked her as it passed by. She wondered if days were usually this long.